My time with you is my greatest education. By allowing me the opportunity to help care for your children you teach me more than any professor, attending or book. I want to take the time to tell you about what you have done for me because as Mother’s Day approaches, you are the teachers to whom I owe the most gratitude.
I worked very hard to become a pediatrician. I took giant loans that I may never pay off in order to get my education. Like all doctors in training, I studied until I fell asleep most nights, missed out on weddings and birthdays of loved ones because I had to work 36-hour shifts in until the wee morning hours. I did it because I love the science and I love the kids. That was almost 15 years ago now. I remember finishing my year as Chief Resident at a busy hospital in Manhattan and thinking that after my training, there was nothing I couldn’t handle. There was no IV line I couldn’t place, no algorithm I couldn’t manage, no infection I couldn’t treat. There is a faith and belief in the principles of medicine that a young doctor develops and for me it was not unlike a religion.
All moms reading this right now know the punchline. Of course that education and hard work were not enough! I had no idea what I was in for. I had not yet become a mom so, in truth, I knew nothing about what it means to take care of a child. My own three kids have corrected my bravado, but still, my greatest education has come from all of you. Today I feel luckiest for all that I have learned from the mothers of my patients. Here is what I would like to tell you.
Thank you for teaching me about mother’s intuition.
You have shown me that a mother’s gut is stronger than any medical study and more reliable than any strep test. After many years I have learned that when a mother tells me that there is something wrong, her intuition is more important than my physical exam or lab test. I trust my gut with my kids now and I am thankful when mothers let me in on what theirs is telling them too.
Thank you for teaching me not to label your child.
You have shown me that not every child that tests on to the spectrum stays there and that no two children with ASD have very much in common. You have taught me that there are millions of ways to be normal and that nobody would be beautiful if they were just like everyone else. You have taught me that it is our job to learn how to fit into their world, not the other way around.
Thank you for teaching me to communicate.
There is no one solution to a problem, medical or otherwise. What works at first may not continue to work and what works for one child may not help another. Thank you for telling me what isn’t working and letting me come up with an alternative. Even more, thank you for remembering to tell me when you are better and not just when you are sick. I learn from that too!
Thank you for teaching me that a mom shines in her failures more than her successes.
I see how it is easy to be a great mom when your child makes a travel team or tests into a better school. It’s easy when they sleep through the night or their check-up is glowing. But I admire you most when she communicates with you about birth control, when you tell me you found cigarettes in his gym bag and when we talk about what to do when she is bullying on the playground.
Thank you for teaching me that anything is possible.
I now know that a child diagnosed with diabetes today can one day be a division one athlete. I know that a brain tumor doesn’t always stop you from being a power hockey forward. I know that just because your husband loses his battle with cancer doesn’t mean you can’t raise three brilliant, kind, well-adjusted girls without him. A mother’s love can move mountains and is stronger than any medicine discovered so far.
Moms, you humble me every day. I’m honored to have your trust and to help you care for your kids. I am a better pediatrician because of you and moreover a better mom. Happy Mother’s Day and forever thank you!
Throughout her residency training and while serving as Chief Resident, Dr. Mary K. Thomas continued to work with indigent and immigrant children and their families. She was an integral member of the renowned St. Vincent’s Cystic Fibrosis Center and served on its Charity Board. Her work earned her the John Z. Jacoby Award for exemplary care of patients with CF. Dr. Thomas was an attending physician at The Elizabeth Seton Pediatric Center in Manhattan, caring for children with rare genetic disorders and complex chronic diseases before ultimately moving to New Jersey with her growing family.
Dr. Mary Thomas has been a busy pediatrician in New Jersey since 2008 and believes that well care and good preventative practices play the biggest role in preventing illness. She also believes in taking into account how psychosocial influences, as well as illness, play a role in the wellness of a child. Her clinical focuses include pediatric dermatology and rashes, caring for children and families with special needs including LGBTQ youth and children with disabilities. Dr. Thomas also serves as Medical Director of Armada Health, helping patients with challenging diagnoses get to the right specialists to treat their disease. Dr. Thomas currently resides in Montclair with her husband and three children. In her spare time, she enjoys gardening and cheering on the sidelines of her children’s activities.